


i looked at you like the stars that shine

by captainswanouat



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lieutenant Duckling, Lieutenant Killian Jones, Princess Emma Swan, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainswanouat/pseuds/captainswanouat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma is the princess of Misthaven and befriends Killian Jones when they're young. As they grow older, they start developing feelings for one another but neither wants to tell the other, because they don't want to ruin their friendship. After a fight one night though, they realize the truth is better than hiding. Lieutenant Duckling AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i looked at you like the stars that shine

**Author's Note:**

> Based off "Mary's Song" by Taylor Swift. A gift for the lovely lieutenantducklings on Tumblr as a part of CS Secret Santa! Merry Christmas, Sheila!

Emma was 4 when they first met. She had convinced her father, the king of Misthaven, to take her with him on a trip down to the royal naval docks. Not that it was hard; all she had to do was look at him with her pleading green eyes and he caved. So a normal trip to check that the ships were up to code turned into a tour around "the big pretty boats", as Emma liked to call them.

Killian was 6 when they first met. He had just been put under the care of his older brother, Liam, after their father had been picked up and arrested for petty crimes he had committed. Liam had recently enlisted in the royal Navy after his 16th birthday, but he didn’t want Killian to be left on his own; so he took responsibility of taking care of him. Thankfully for both, the navy was more than accommodating, due to the circumstances; the perks of fighting under a true and noble king.

But that didn't make wrangling Killian around any easier for Liam, as he would frequently take off running at a moment’s notice.

Which, naturally, is how Emma and Killian met.

One minute Emma was standing up right, holding onto her father's hand, and the next she was knocked to the ground. Before she could even register what happened she was scooped up into her father's arms, his hand cradling the back of her head as he calmly bounced her up and down. She was faintly aware of someone profusely apologizing, so she turned to look at who it was. And as her eyes began watering, she saw what, or who, knocked her over.

And the tears stopped.

She nearly never saw anyone her age. Everyone around the castle was much older than her, and she only came across other kids when she went to the market with her mother.

"Who 're you?" She asked him, sniffling quietly to herself and rubbing her eyes.

"K-Killian."

"I apologize for my brother, your majesty. He tends to not look where he's going," Liam said while placing a firm hand on Killian's shoulder.

Charming chuckled, looking at Emma. "It’s perfectly fine. I know the feeling too well. No harm done, right my princess?" he asked her, to which she shook her head.

Emma quickly began wiggling in her father's arms so he carefully set her down onto the ground. Once free from the confines of her father’s arms, she went up to Killian and held out a tentative hand. "Hi. 'm Emma."

Killian buried his face into Liam's leg, looking at her briefly with one eye (which got a laugh from both Liam and Charming). He finally held out his hand and put it in Emma's much smaller one. "It's nice to meet you Emma."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so it went for the next few years.

At least twice a month, newly appointed Captain Liam Jones would travel to the palace and visit with the king and queen to discuss plans for his fleet in the royal navy. That’s what he tells Killian, that is. The more truthful answer was that the now 9 year old Killian had nobody else his age around the barracks nor down around the docks. And each time Liam would see him sitting by himself in the corner, doodling on a sketch pad with a sad look on his face, he felt a pang of guilt that his brother didn’t have any friends.

Well, except for the princess.

So that’s why they found themselves once again in the foyer of the castle, with an excited Killian bouncing next to him. And as soon as he saw Killian’s beaming smile when Emma came running around the corner, he couldn’t be bothered to feel bad about making the long trek to the palace.

It was worth it.

(And what he didn’t know was the situation was exactly the same for Emma.)

“Killian!” Emma squealed as she ran up to him, wrapping her small arms around his shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

Emma pulled back from him, turning her father (who had been following close behind her) and tugging on his pants to get his attention. “Can we go play in the garden? Please father?” she asks with a slight pout to her lips.

Charming mocks a sigh, a smile on his lips. “I guess so. Just be careful, and don’t wander off!” With another squeal and a giggle, she grabbed Killian’s hand and pulled him toward the hallway and out the back door with her. Charming laughed and looked at Liam, holding out his hand to him. “Thanks for bringing him by. She’s been going stir crazy lately… she can only play so much by herself before she starts getting bored.”

“It’s not a problem, your highness. It’s the same problem with Killian. Your hospitality and letting him come by its very appreciated.”

Charming clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile. “I know how tough your upbringing was, and about the issues with your father, so I’m happy to do whatever I can to make sure you and Killian are well taken care of. Plus you’re one of our best captains, I can’t have you unhappy can I?”

The two shared a laugh and looked out the door that was still wide open, hearing the laughter echoing from the yard. “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up together when they’re older,” Liam said quietly, smiling to himself.

“You know… I wouldn’t be either.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You can’t catch me!” Killian yelled back at her, weaving his way through the canopy gardens in the palace yard, Emma giggling and running behind him every step of the way.

(She totally could catch him if she wanted to.)

Killian ran out the entry way and slowed down, a toothy grin on his face as Emma came and stood next to him. “Caught you,” she said while sticking her tongue out at him and poking him in the shoulder.

Eventually they both collapsed onto the ground, staring up at the clouds littering the sky. Emma sighed quietly, turning her head to look at him. “I wish you could stay here all the time. It’s so boring here when you have to leave.”

“I wish I could stay too.” Killian turned his head to meet her gaze. “You’re my best friend Emma.”

“You’re my bestest friend too,” she happily agreed as she sat up. Killian followed her movements, brows furrowed in confusion. “Let’s make a promise to stay friends forever.”

“The bestest?” he asked while sticking out his pinky. She locked hers with his, smiling.

“The bestest.”

With a little smirk Emma tapped his nose, jumping to her feet. “You’re it!” she screamed while running back into the garden, with Killian quickly close behind her.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next 9 years followed the same pattern. Emma and Killian developed an unbreakable bond, even as Killian followed in his brother’s footsteps and joined the royal navy when he became of age. Killian would still visit the castle as often as he could, spending time wandering the grounds with Emma. And from time to time she would surprise him with a visit down to the docks, the two of them browsing the shops and stopping at one of the local taverns for a bite to eat.

(And a drink or two.)

(But she would never tell her father that.)

That night she found herself sitting in front of the floor length mirror in her room, as her mother put a braided crown in her hair. Tonight was her birthday celebration, set to have dancing and mingling in honor of her turning 16. But all she wanted to do was spend the night with her best friend, sneaking drinks, sharing stories, and stealing all the baked goods she could find in the kitchen.

She lived for the simple things in life.

Instead she had to put on a corseted dress, with a skirt that flowed out around her waist, and let her parents put on a party in her honor. “You look so beautiful Emma,” her mother said quietly while running her delicate hands down her daughter’s arms.

“Thank you mother,” she responded with a smile. “However there’s a chance this corset may kill me before the end of the night.”

Snow chuckled at that, placing a kiss to the top of Emma’s head. “Oh you’ll be fine. But I’ll leave you be for now. Someone will be coming for you soon to escort you down to the ballroom.” With a comforting squeeze to Emma’s shoulders, she turned around and walked to the door, stopping just short of it. “And Emma? Happy birthday.”

Emma watched as she left, smiling quickly to herself as she stood. She looked in the mirror, admiring the dress she had been put in for the night; it wasn’t her normal attire in the slightest (she longed to constantly wear riding pants and loose shirts but no _way_ would her mother allow it.) Although she wasn’t the most comfortable, she couldn’t deny that the light blue dress really was beautiful. A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts, and she turned around in time to see Killian entering her room.

Her heart fluttered a bit when she saw him.

He was standing before her in his lieutenant attire, hair a little messy, with a smile wider than she’d seen in months.

“Well don’t you look sharp,” she said with a tilt of her head, noting how his cheeks flushed at the compliment.

“Thank you, Emma. You look… you look stunning, princess,” he said with awe in his voice.

Her heart fluttered again.

_(He’s your best friend, Emma.)_

_(Don’t screw this up.)_

She masked the lump growing in her throat with a roll of her eyes as she reached out to link her arm in his. “You don’t need to call me that, Killian. We’re best friends, the formalities aren’t necessary.”

“The position _does_ call for it though, love.”

Which she knew.

But she didn’t care.

“Well when it’s just the two of us, let’s just stick with ‘Emma’,” she looked up and smiled as he led her out of her room and down the hallway. “Deal?”

He nodded, mirroring the smile she sent him.

(What she didn’t know was that the weird not-friend-feelings that she had been feeling for the last year or so, he had been feeling too.)

(He just didn’t want to ruin their friendship.)

(And neither did she.)

As they reached the door of the ballroom, he slowed down, grabbing her attention. Before she could ask what was wrong, he leaned down and whispered “save me a dance” in her ear. With a blush on her cheeks (and shiver down her spine) she nodded to him, biting back a smile as he escorted her inside.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The party went about as standard as she could have planned. She was presented to everyone by one of the squires, forcing a smile to them all. Naturally as she took a seat at the front of the room, her mother kept pointing out the prospective husbands that were in attendance. The excitement in her mother’s voice _almost_ made her feel bad about being annoyed. Almost. Not quite though. As she was about to put a stop to the wedding talk, a man a few years older than her approached and asked for a dance.

And to be quite honest, the only man in the room she wanted to dance with was her best friend.

She opened her mouth to decline, but noted the pointed look her mother was giving her. So with a sigh, she accepted.

Unfortunately for her, accepting one dance from a man meant having to accept dances from _all_ the men that asked her; which was more than she had been anticipating. She kept trying to catch Killian’s gaze but as she would start to make her way towards him, someone else would come and whisk her away (including the annoying prince from a kingdom over that continually asked her about courting her, but didn’t seem to get the hint that she wasn’t interested).

She tried to ignore the look on Killian’s face the fourth time another man asked her to dance as she was making her way towards him.

(The way his face fell.)

(The look of pure disappointment.)

Soon after the party finally died off, she began saying goodbye to all the guests (some of which she hopefully never saw again, to be honest). Emma felt free, relaxed, and after everyone filed out of the ballroom she could finally slip out of her heels, shuffle up to her room, and go to sleep.

As she was exiting the ballroom, she was surprised to see someone sitting in the corner of the foyer, and was even more surprised when she realized it was Killian. “Hey you,” her voice came out quiet as she walked up to him, jokingly kicking at his foot.

He didn’t look up at her.

She bit her lower lip, brows knitted in confusion. “I… I was looking for you all night. I thought you wanted a dance?”

“You seemed quite busy dancing with all the other men.”

_Ouch._

She knew it was coming, somehow, but was still taking a back at the way it clipped out of his mouth, jealousy seething with every word he said.

(They weren’t the kind of friends to fight.)

(Nor be jealous.)

“Yes, at the request of my mother. You know how she gets.”

“Aye, that I do. And yet you did nothing to fight it; you can only use her as an excuse for so long, Emma.”

Her brows shot up and she defiantly crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you mad at me right now Killian?”

“Oh how could I be mad at her royal highness,” he said with a grand wave of his arms, eyes widening dramatically. “She was just doing as she was told.”

“Killian what is the matter with you?” Emma asked, taking a step closer to him.

He let out a hearty laugh, making Emma wince. “I’m mad because the only friend I have seems to have forgotten I exist.”

“It was _one night_! You know if I declined any of those men that they could have used it as an excuse to stop trade with our kingdom. I didn’t have a choice!”

If looks could kill, Emma would be dead. Considering the look he was giving her right now.

“Since when have you _no_ t had a choice, Emma? You always have a choice and you know it. You _pride_ yourself on it.”

He was right and her ego was hurt and what happened next. Well. She regretted it as soon as she said it.

“Well I didn’t see _you_ coming over to ask me to dance, did I? You just stood in the corner, moping over the other men asking me, being a coward!”

( _“My father was a coward, I never want to be like him”_ he used to say to her.)

(It was a low blow.)

Killian shook his head, a dark chuckle slipping past his lips. “I guess you’re right, aren’t you Emma? I’m just a pathetic coward. Just like my father, aye?”

Silence fell between them as she looked down at her crossed arms, not wanting to meet his gaze. “Killian I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Of course you don’t. You never do.”

“Killian please-”

“Just go, Emma.” His eyes never met hers. “You want to, so just go.”

Emma opened her mouth to reply, but instead let her eyes fall shut as she backed away from him. Turning around abruptly, she let her feet carry her towards her room, not once looking back. She could hear him calling for her as she went, so she picked up her pace, holding her skirts in her hand so she didn’t trip.

Tears were in her eyes as she made it to her room, and without a second thought she slammed the door shut and locked the dead bolt so he couldn’t follow her.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t insistently knock on her door.

“Emma… Emma please open the door,” his muffled voice came through the door. “Please Emma!” She shook her head to no one in particular while swiftly undoing the uncomfortable laces of the corset, ripping it off her body. At this point the tears were falling freely, with no reason to hold them in while in the privacy of her room.

Eventually the knocking ceased and she figured he must have realized it was a lost cause. She wasn’t letting him in; not tonight. Not right now. Even if she hated having to go to bed mad at him. And with tears staining her pillow, she let herself fall to sleep, hoping for a better morning.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time she woke up, the sun was high in the sky and shining brightly through the window, illuminating her room. She blinked once, twice, and tried to ignore all the memories from last night that flooded her mind. But once she got up to slip on her robe and look in the mirror, she noticed the prominent dark circles under her eyes.

Damn it Killian.

The high sun noted how late in the afternoon it was; and she realized Killian had probably already left to head back to the docks. Damn it.

With a sigh she opened the door, and nearly screamed as someone fell backwards toward her into the room. Once she noticed the mop of black hair, mouth falling open in shock. “Killian?” she whispered loudly.  

He blinked up at her, craning his neck from side to side. “Morning… or is it afternoon?”

“What are you doing?” she asked, ignoring his question. As she glanced down she noticed the blanket on the ground and everything began clicking in her head. “Did…. Did you sleep out here?”

He nervously scratched behind his ear as he stood to his feet. “Aye, I did. I figured if I slept here you couldn’t avoid speaking to me today… I want to apologize to you, Emma. I was an arse and completely out of line.”

She shook her head, waving him off. “I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn’t have… said what I said. And I didn’t mean it at all. I’m… I’m sorry, Killian.”

“Had I not started our tussle, it wouldn’t have been an issue. I guess I was just…” he stopped, worrying his lip between his teeth and kept his eyes down. “I guess I was just jealous of having to share you with other men at the ball.”

Her eyes opened wide, dimly noticing him grabbing both of her hands in his. “I… why were you jealous?” she asked on a whisper, her heart beat increasing as she waited for his answer.

(He couldn’t feel the same as her.)

(She couldn’t be that lucky.)

“Because you’re my best friend Emma,” he said simply, giving her a smile. When she raised a brow at him, knowing he wasn’t telling her the full truth, he sighed and tightened his grip on her hands. “And because in the past few years I’ve… developed feelings for you.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

(Again.)

“You like me?”

Her simple question got a nervous laugh out of him, his fingers lacing with hers. “Yes, love. I do. And I have for a long while now. However, your friendship is much too important to me for us to throw it away over unreciprocated feelings. So if you don’t feel the same-”

She cut him off by standing on her toes and pressing her lips against him.

He stilled for a moment before relaxing against her, an arm wrapping around her back and the other untangling from her fingers to cradle the back of her head. He kissed her sweetly and gently but _passionately_ , in the most perfect way that a first kiss should be. It was heaven. This couldn’t be real.

(It was.)

Killian pulled back first, reluctantly, and kept her at a close distance, hoping and praying she wouldn’t run.

(She didn’t.)

“I like you too, Killian. A lot,” she teased, letting her fingers slip through his hair.

“That may be the most wonderful thing you’ve ever said to me,” he said in a low voice, before leaning down to capture her lips in his again. And everything about it felt right.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5 years later, the day after Emma’s 21st birthday, Killian asked her to meet with him down in the palace gardens. As she followed the hallway down to the back door, she was flooded with memories of them as kids, full of laughter and energy, and smiled to herself. It seemed almost inevitable that this is where they would end up; falling blissfully in love with one another. It was like something ‘straight out of a fairytale’, as her mother liked to say, and however cliché it sounded she had to agree. Emma had truly never felt as happy as she had the last 5 years; and the distance never became too much of an issue.

(Although she really hated being away from him.)

There was a time where Killian was sent off for three months to help salvage a neighboring kingdom, and another time when he was gone for four to help with the rescue and return of the stolen crown jewels. But since then it had been relatively quiet; which she was more than thankful for.

So whenever Killian was home, he was put up in the palace guest room per the persistent request of Emma.

_("Father why can't he just stay here? We have plenty of room and everything he needs to take care of can be done here."_

_"Emma, he needs to stay with his fleet should something come up."_

_"And if something comes up he'll be the first to know since he's here under your roof. Please father. He already travels out here nearly every day, there's no point in him wasting hours of the day making the trip."_

_"... fine, but he will not be staying in your room."_ )

And now, as she made her way to the garden, her dress dragging across the grass, she couldn't help but smile at him in his captain regalia (she was so proud when he was appointed captain). "Good afternoon my love," he said to her with a smile as she approached. When she got to him she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips gently against his. She sighed against him, dimly aware of his hands sliding down to grip her hips as she pulled back.

"My father said you were looking for me?"

Killian brought his hand up to scratch behind his ear, eyes darting to her left. "Aye, I was. I need to talk to you."

"Is everything alright?"

At that he smiled, reaching down to hold her hands in his. "Yes darling. Everything is perfect."

"Well then what do you-"

Her mouth fell open as Killian suddenly dropped down to one knee in front of her. "I had something in mind," he said with a slight smirk on his lips.

"Killian..." She breathed out, blinking rapidly as her eyes started tearing up. _Don't start crying, keep it together Emma_.

"Emma, my love; my best friend, my everything. You've been in my life for as long as I can remember and I love you more than I can put into words. I know I'm not royalty or of any lineage to take a crown-"

"Killian you know that has never once mattered to me-"

"Let me finish love," he said with a teasing smile while grabbing her left hand and pressing a kiss to the top of it. "Even though I'm none of those things, I promise to love you every day of the rest of my life. So what do say?" Killian reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful ring, holding it up to her. "Will you make me the happiest and luckiest man alive and become my wife?"

She was crying now, free hand covering her mouth, but she managed to nod her head yes. She pulled her hand out of his and reached down to grab him by his jacket and pull him up into a kiss. He pulled her tight against him, and a laughed bubbled out of Emma's mouth as he lifted her off the ground, spinning her around. "Yes, yes, yes!" She finally was able to say as she buried her head into his neck.

Killian set her down on the ground, waving towards her left hand. Emma nervously bit her lip as she held her hand out, fingers splayed, and he carefully slipped the ring onto her finger. "It was my mum's," Killian said quietly. "I’ve planned to give you this for years, if I'm being entirely honest with you. And Liam insisted."

Emma held her hand up to examine the ring. It was simple; beautiful. The silver band had an intricate design to it, 2 small red gems surrounding a beautiful diamond in the middle. "It’s perfect," she whispered, looking back up at him with tears threatening in her eyes again. "I love you Killian."

Smiling still, he pulled her in for another kiss, his hands cupping both of her cheeks. She teasingly flicked her tongue out, running it along his bottom lip, eliciting a low groan from him. He pulled back slightly, moving a hand to the back of her head and kept his forehead tight against hers. "You're a minx, my love."

"Good thing you love me," she teased while pressing a chaste kiss to his nose, making him chuckle.

They stayed quiet for a moment, letting everything soak in, when Kilian’s lips curled upward. "So love.... bestest friends?"

Emma threw her head back in a laugh, wrapping her arms around his neck. "The bestest."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And when they announced it to their family, Liam immediately turned towards Charming. “Told you so.”


End file.
